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I handed over my baby.
At just a few hours old, I made one of the most heartbreaking decisions a mother could make. Giving my own heart and soul to someone other than myself. Out of my care and love, I was so ready to bestow upon this brand-new beautiful life.
Separated for 36 hours, due to an unexpected flu diagnosis, following delivery.
As I sat in my postpartum room, tears streaming down, the only thing that caught my eyes in that moment, was a single cross hanging on the wall. It was this purely bittersweet moment of uncontrollable fear meeting un-explainable peace. A moment to choose. To let this experience be led by fear, or to let the moment be led by trust. A moment to realize, I had to hand her over. For her own safety, well-being and protection.
Washing over me came a flood of emotions.
A wave of truth.
That these sweet babes truly are a gift. A gift bestowed upon us. But a treasure of the most unconditional kind, whose path only the Creator can determine. The same as ours. No matter how tiny or grown.
It was in this moment that I also realized, this won’t be the first time I hand over this precious, sweet girl. Or any of our little ones. My mind started whirling to similar experiences. Thinking just how many times I have had to do the very same thing.
You see, not a moment goes by that we don't hand over our children.
Daily.
To the care of others.
To their own paths.
Their own choices.
To the possible dangers of our world.
To the temptation of the enemy.
To the reality of life experience.
There is no end to how many times we will hand over our children throughout their lives. Each time, cracking a tiny piece of our mama hearts. As fear attempts to creep into those minuscule crevices of our hearts.
Fear of mistakes.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of bad things happening.
An inevitable collision.
Fear and motherhood.
Yet, each time we "give up" and let go of, our children, the experience brings us even just a tiny bit closer to our ever-trusting faith in Him.
Precious mamas, we need to be brave enough to let go of our children. To release them into the sufficient and sheltering hands of the One Who handcrafted each tiny soul. Following the examples of so many before us who followed God's plans and leading in their lives, instead of their own.
Knowing that no matter how many times in our lives that we hand over these sweet beings, they are never alone.
Because, when we continuously walk the path of fear, we actually shelter our children from the experiences they need to encounter and work through as part of God's purpose for each of them.
But wrapping our children in prayer?
Perhaps the greatest way to power through life's uncertainties and straight into a solid foundation of faith, beginning with a powerful layer of trust. And then, modeling that trust. Consistently. Praying and talking our children through, day-in-and-day-out, amidst our changing circumstances.
Sweet mamas, never forget God's most beautiful promise to us, amidst the valleys and mountains of motherhood: He loves our children just as much, and even more-so, than we do.
Because His love?
The truly perfect kind.
Unconditional.
All-encompassing.
Pure.
And eternal.
So, take a deep breath, beautiful mamas, and don't forget to continuously wrap your children in prayer with every breath you take; along with each worry, anxiety and fear that you encounter along your journey of motherhood.
Handing it all over to God.
The same Father, Who has promised to refill you with His strength, made perfect in your weakness. Hanging forever-tightly to the truth: we don't have to know all the plans; we just have to trust that giving the control back to Him is always-and-forever the best choice for our children; not because of who you are as your children's mother, but because of Who He is, as our Heavenly Father Above.
"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4
