• easpenner

Deserving

Updated: Jul 28

Have you ever felt like you deserved something? Like you worked harder than you have ever labored before in your life, and you can’t justify any reason not to earn that promotion you’ve been yearning for. That you’ve poured your entire heart-and-soul into a project or activity, and you believe nothing less than “winning” will do. Or maybe you just simply feel as though you deserve a break from life’s chaos and the speed bumps that have cross-crossed your path lately.

Each-and-every one of us experiences those moments in life. Sometimes, we publically announce this deserving. And other times, we keep those thoughts tucked away deep within our hearts and minds. But nonetheless, it is very much human-nature to feel “entitled” to a sense of accomplishment and acknowledgement.


One of those very thoughts found its way creeping into my mind just within the past week. I had worked very, very hard on something and felt as though I deserved for the actual “event” to go remarkably well. I had lots of beautiful support. I had planned and prodded over every. little. detail. But, when it came down to it, things didn’t roll out just as planned. And feelings of disappointment overshadowed any potential “rewards”. Before I knew it, I actually became upset with myself. Yes, in my selfish mind, I played it all out in a different way. But, it was fine. A step toward a new direction. A developing future. A growing idea.

So, I forced myself into reflection upon a very true-life realization… T

here are countless i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. souls who, at some (or many) point in their lives found themselves in the same exact boat…Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison, Lucille Ball, Emily Dickinson, Dr. Seuss, J.K. Rowling, Mozart, Babe Ruthfalling (flat on their faces at times), yet pulling themselves up, over and over and over again. So, I figure I am actually in great company. In the inspiring words of Babe Ruth himself: “Every strike brings me closer to the next homerun.” Perfect.

My heart, soul and mind are on fire right now, sweet friends. Inundated with passion. For life. And the gift of encouraging others. I have more ideas spinning through my mind than I can fathom. And of course, most of them come as I tuck myself away, searching for the night’s dreams to keep me company. It’s a learning process. Yes, there are things and accomplishments that at times I feel as though I deserve. But I know, deep within my being, that as long as my heart, soul and intent are in the right place, centered with the One Who holds my hand daily, everything will fall into place.

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me”. (1 Corinthians, 15:10)

For now, one of my biggest goals (and hurdles) is to continue to pray for the merging of His plan with mine. Knowing, all the while, that it will unfold in His time. In His way. Yet, with my love, talents and dedication. And then, and only then, will I be able to truly feel deserving of His grace and glory.

And for you, beautiful friends, I wish the e.x.a.c.t. same thing. To not let the feeling of deflation overtake you when things don’t fall into place as you feel they should. But instead, I pray and hope that you may find His mercy and blessing through those sometimes-harsh life experiences; relishing in trust for His plan, always knowing that not only does He have everything we need for success, but He will never fail us in placing those perfect instruments into our life. To pick us up from our fallsJust exactly when we need them the most. In order to do His work in the most meaningful and momentous ways.


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