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  • Writer's pictureeaspenner


Updated: Jul 28, 2020


One p.a.s.s.i.o.n.a.t.e. rollercoaster ride. Full of twists and turns. Ups and downs. Smooth-sailing and unexpected shifts. Fascinating, yet incredibly frightening, all wrapped into one whirlwind of a journey.


Which is at the core of the enjoyment of it all, right?!


And in the thick of preparations for am upcoming move…remodeling, packing, working soccer practices, games, preschool wrapping up and keeping three tiny tots in-toe…everything within my being is screaming for stability. Yet, at the same time, the excitement for these upcoming changes is building in anticipation. And an unusual calm has settled in. Somehow, some way, by the Grace of God, I know everything will fall into place. The packing. The final touches. The transition. The girls knowing it will all be okay.

As hard of a lesson as it may be, I am realizing more and more each day that I don’t always need a plan. I may want one. And to be honest, beautiful souls, a plan is something I crave, daily. Yet, it’s not a n.e.c.e.s.s.i.t.y. Thinking I have to have it all figured out is a huge trigger for my anxiety. Which is definitely something I don’t need. But, what I do need? Trust. Constantly. And permission. To take the time to go outside and breathe. To let go of the fear and panic. To exhale my worries. And inhale my bravery. My inner lion. My mantra.  My faith. And watch what unfolds. In it’s due time.


Letting go of the life I have planned. To now discover the life that is awaiting us ahead.

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

It’s a learning-curve, sweet friends. Working overtime to let go of the need for control. For it all to happen as I envision. And instead, to enjoy the bumps. Maybe even throwing my (shaking) hands up in the air, every great once in a while. Taking in the magnificence of my surroundings. The playfulness of our sweet girls. And to allow myself the beauty of one simple act: to breathe.


To inhale the realization that no matter what I do; what I wish; how organized I might try to be in life; that God’s “purpose will always prevail” (Proverbs 19:21). And that His plans for our family’s future are far more spectacular than any-and-all of my abounding fears of the unknown.

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