A Walk with God and Anxiety
"You have it backwards, you know?" He said sternly.
Stopped me right in my walking tracks. As I paused and found myself entranced with the beauty of the sun's rays gently setting through the frosty, lone pine tree.
“You have it backwards.” He repeated. “You always have. I don’t fault you, My child. But you’ve seen the difference now, and I want to remind you of that happiness.”
“What do you mean? I’m so sorry, God; it’s been a day. But you already know that. I need a little extra help with this.”
“You told me your anxiety was picking back up. You just asked Me for My help. But what did you do before you sought Me? Do you remember?”
I gently reminded Him in our conversation that I needed a little extra boost today, trying to think of the right answer.
“You ran straight into your fear, didn’t you, My daughter? Straight into everything Earthly you thought might comfort you. You had a conversation today with that fear, didn’t you? And what happened?”
“It feels worse today than it has in weeks.” I confessed.
“Why do you think that is? Why do you think your worries intensified so much? You have it backwards, my child. You didn’t come to Me. Not first. Not before everything escalated. You ran straight into your anxiety, head-on. And you looked to the roots to comfort those fears. You ran straight into your seven-letter fear. Instead of your Infinite Father of complete hope and peace.”
I could feel the tears welling.
Wow, did He have a point to share with me.
“You got upset about something today, didn’t you?”
His tone remained gentle, but firm, like a father-daughter relationship.
“Can you tell me what it was? You know I already know, but I want you to tell me.”
And so I did. Right there on our driveway. I told Him. I spilled it all. I let the tears flow, and I left it all right there at His feet, releasing just how much the unexpected heaviness of life had been weighing me down these last two weeks. And then how the exhaustion suddenly could no longer avoid a collision with my weary, grateful heart.
“Unexpected, huh?” He asked.
“Kind of like the root of your anxiety. You’re walking through life, happy and at peace, when something unexpected rolls in. And what do you do? You tense up. You get agitated. You get sorrowful. You feel helpless. You walk right into the grasp of my enemy. You walk right in, my daughter. And he loves nothing more than to cause you to question your relationship with Me. Subsequently, your bright, sunny walk with Me suddenly succumbs to a storm of doubt and fear.”
I wasn’t sure what to say in return.
Wow, was He right.
“I’ve seen you trying though, My precious child. And Satan? He does too. He’s not happy about that. Not happy at all. So today? He tried extra-hard.
He has been watching how you are guiding your children more and more toward Me. He notices those bigger bursts of happiness. He has been watching how much you are trying to pull it all together and bring it all to My feet.
He knows that you are extra-tired this week, but still choosing to thank Me for the blessing of these children. Have you noticed how much he’s tested your patience?
He saw how busy things have been at home right now. So, he thought you might not notice if he started sneaking in again, little-by-little. He even tried to nudge you not to take this walk Me today, didn’t he?
Do you notice a pattern?
Those moments of vulnerability?
Those are most likely to be the moments you are not fully suited with My armor, aren’t they, my daughter?
But so often, he forgets. Just how much more power I have. Satan? He thinks his power will always be stronger, because of how easily persuasive his words of untruth creep into My children’s vulnerabilities. The same vulnerabilities that can become their very greatest strengths, if they only turned to Me first. Still, so many of My children run straight to him first. Including you, My daughter.”
As I stood in utter guilt, He nudged me once more.
“Your struggle with anxiety, with the enemy, is not for nothing, My daughter. It’s been a long one, I know. I want you to know, never for once have I left you alone in this battle. Daily, I fight for you, My child. Every second. Every breath you take. Each of My children hold the same worth: priceless. I fight for each-and-every single one of them equally.
One of your greatest purposes is as one of My faithful messengers. I’ve directed you to share your heart with others, and this is one message you can’t keep to yourself. So, my daughter, please remind My children:
They always have a choice.
They can run to their fears.
They can cling tightly to their anxieties.
Or, they can run to Me.
Each and every time.
Remind them it won’t be easy.
Because the enemy is the sneakiest coward.
He has more plots and tricks than all my children, numbered.
He does not care about you.
He ONLY cares about defeating Me.
So tell them.
This is my greatest armor to give to you.
And more importantly, pray for one another.
Pray so much, he can’t find a break to slither in.
And your vulnerable, precious children?
Teach them too.
Teach them constant conversation with Me.
Such easy protection.
Yet, so often forgotten.
Run to Me, every single time, My daughter.
And tell others to do the same.
To seek me with the entirety of their hearts.
My word is your armor.
My name is your refuge.
My arms are your shield.”
The most humbling reminder of all.
That perhaps the greatest weapon against the prowl of the enemy, is as simple as getting lost in conversation with Him. Day in, and day out. Minute-by-minute. Second-by-second. Breath-by-breath.
So very simple.
Yet, so often forgotten.
To simply stay in prayerful-stride
with our Heavenly Father Above.